The Brown Badge

             A sad, and somewhat disgusting reality of the Peace Corps is that volunteers talk about poop…a lot.  It is acceptable to talk about at the dinner table and we definitely don’t spare any of the dirty details.  When my training class arrived in Uganda, we were told that you were not a real Peace Corps volunteer until you earned your “brown badge.”  I’m sure most of you can guess as to how one earns this badge – you have to poop your pants.  Now don’t get too excited; I have not received this high honor, yet.  Ryan, however, earned his badge this past week and has shamelessly allowed me to write about it in my blog.  Here is how our texting conversation went on Saturday morning:

Ryan: “I know we always joke about poop attacks, but the reality is, it’s not that funny when you poop your pants.”

Me: “OMG YOU POOPED YOUR PANTS?!?!?!  What happened?”

Ryan: “I wanted to wait for my water to finish boiling so I could make my tea.  I unclenched for just a sec and then it was all over”

Me: “Hahahahahaha…gross!  Are you ok?”

Ryan: “Yes. But I need a new pair of shoes”      

            I think that sums it up pretty nicely.  Congratulations Ryan on beating me to the brown badge and thank you for letting me post it on the Internet for my friends and family to read about. 

            Term is almost over and students are finishing up their final exams.  I cannot believe how quickly the time has passed!  Teachers at UPE schools (government primary schools) have gone on strike because of their low salaries.  They are only paid 200,000 shillings a month, which is the equivalent of $74!  As a result, the school where my coordinating center is located is closed, and last week was a little slow in the work department.  I spent time with my neighbors and helped the students at my school study for exams.  I gave my neighbors’ kids paper and colored pencils to draw, and now my walls are covered with drawings – the majority of which are pictures of people shooting each other.  (These kids are between the ages of 4-9).  I asked Dennis if they could draw something that didn’t have guns, and he responded, “You don’t like guns?”  I said no, and told him that they should draw me an elephant or a cow.  I got a drawing of a man holding a machete…but hey, at least he wasn’t chasing anyone.  The other kids just copied pictures out of a children’s English book, so I have drawings with labels like “boy” and “girl”. 

            Last week, the neighbor kids were watching me cook peanut noodles through my kitchen window.  They were completely mesmerized and they couldn’t stop giggling to each other.  When I sat on my couch to eat my dinner, they kept peeking in the window and then would laugh at me (they aren’t used to seeing this type of food).  I opened my door and asked if they wanted to try some.  They went nuts and were so excited to try my food.  They devoured their plate and when I went to dump out the extra sauce, they stopped me and drank it like a soup.  Either they really liked my cooking or it was just nice to eat food that wasn’t rice, beans, or matoke. 

            This past weekend Caroline, Chelsea, Audrey, and I went to Sipi Falls, which is about an hour and a half away from Mbale.  We decided to go on a whim, so there was not much planning involved.  A five-minute Internet research landed us in “Crows Nest,” which was one of the cheaper places to spend the night.  Our room was a mud hut with three bunk beds squished together, and it looked like a fort with all of the mosquito nets.  There were papyrus mats on the walls, which I assume was to hide the mud and make it look more “homey.”  There was also a bit of plastic flooring, which covered some of our mud floor.  We could not stop laughing at the ridiculousness of where we were staying, but we thought it was pretty cool.  After all, we were expecting to have mud huts as our houses at site – so we felt like we were finally getting the real Peace Corps experience.  The lodge arranged for a guide, Malisha, to take us on our hike through Sipi Falls.  (You need a guide because there are no marked trails, and at some points you’re walking through home compounds).  Our hike was a little disastrous, which made it all the more fun and funny: 

            As we were hiking, Malisha warned us that there were safari ants up ahead, and he said to run and hop over them.  (If you read The Poisonwood Bible, then you know what safari ants are.  The Maasai use their pincers as sutures).  We were in a single file line and we all started to run in order to get away from the ants.  I was in the back of the line, and Audrey was in front of me.  In slow motion, I saw Audrey trip and face plant right into a big pile of safari ants.  Of course my first reaction was to laugh because I am mean and it just looked funny (plus she was laughing too).  She got up and started to wipe off the ants, while the rest of us started yelling at her to move.   She started screaming, “OMG they are biting me!!” and continued to frantically wipe off the ants.  We continued to yell at her to move because she was standing in the pile of safari ants – so was not doing any good to wipe them off.  It took her a few seconds, but she finally got the picture and moved. 

            We continued hiking and we had to go up a steep part of the hill with a lot of low hanging branches.  Caroline’s backpack got caught on one of the branches, which caused her to slip and fall straight into a hole on the side of the path.  It sounded and looked pretty painful, but she just cracked up laughing…and so did the rest of us.  A few minutes later, Chelsea slipped and fell while going down a steep part of a hill.  At this point, I am pretty sure Malisha thought we were completely uncoordinated and crazy because we couldn’t stop laughing at each other.  Chelsea turned to me and said I should stop laughing because pretty soon it was going to be me. 

            It started pouring rain during our hike and it got really muddy.  Unfortunately, at this point we were going downhill.  Malisha told us we should take cover until it let up a bit, so we stood under the awning of a random person’s house.  After the rain stopped, he told us that if we continued to go down to the last waterfall, then we would have to climb down ladders that would be slippery from the rain.  We realized he was insinuating that he did not want to take us because he didn’t want to be liable for an injury.  We agreed that it was best to skip going to the bottom of this waterfall, and decided to just see it from a different viewpoint.  We were going downhill and it was really slippery and muddy from all of the rain.  We were sidestepping and trying really hard not to eat it.  Well, of course, Chelsea was right.  I slipped and landed smack on my side – I was caked in mud!! 

            We returned to the lodge, muddy and freezing.  They supposedly had hot showers from 5pm-8pm because they heat the water over a large fire.  Well, since we were the only four at this lodge who wanted to shower, the lodge did not really care to heat the water for the showers.  We were so cold and the water from the tap was freezing – so we convinced them to heat water for us to bucket bathe.  All the other mzungu at the lodge looked at us like we were crazy, but we’re Peace Corps volunteers, so we are experts at this!  Plus, we were disgustingly dirty and we needed to wash off all of the mud.  The rest of the night was great in our mud hut fort.  Since we were up in the mountains, it actually got really cold at night.  It was nice to be able to sleep with a blanket for once!  

And finally, some photos: 

Bujagali Falls in Jinja

Boat Ride: Maggie, Bethany, Me, Willysha

Bethany, Me, Maggie, Willysha, Ryan, and Caroline

Our boat - looks sturdy, right?

Kobe is in Uganda

I could not get this chicken out of my house.

This lizard was waiting for me when I opened my door.  Terrifying!

Dennis eating his noodles

Our fort in Sipi Falls

Our door to the mud hut

Crows Nest Lodge

Sipi Falls - the view from Crows Nest

The biggest pig I have ever seen!!

Audrey, Chelsea, Caroline, and Me

Cabbage Field

Malisha gave us these leaves in case we needed toilet paper

Behind

Audrey was terrified crossing the slippery bridge

We're finished!  And soaking wet.

Bedtime in the fort :)

One of the many drawings I received

Why I Dislike Lizards

               I haven’t always been afraid of lizards – I distinctly remember catching them in my front yard as a little kid.  It wasn’t until I saw an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark? on Nickelodeon that I became terrified of lizards.  I cannot even remember what happened in this episode, but the fear of these creatures, big or small, remains.  Unfortunately, I live in an area that is inhabited by both small geckos and terrifyingly large lizards.  I was, however, getting used to the small geckos that live on the walls in my house (they eat the mosquitoes after all)…until the other night.  The power was out (of course!) and I was watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother on my computer.  It was dark except for the light from my computer, and I felt something heavy drop on my chest.  Needless to say, I shrieked and jumped of f of the couch, and a small gecko fell to the floor.  Shivering with disgust, I grabbed a flashlight and made sure there were no more geckos before I returned to the couch.  It didn’t take long for my neighbor to come knocking on my door to see if I was all right.  I contemplated making up a story to explain my screaming, but decided I better just stick with the truth.  Stephen kept saying “oh sorry, sorry,” but I am sure he was thinking “this mzungu is nuts.” 

            My neighbors are probably the greatest people on earth, and they are a big part of why I am enjoying my time here.  Two weeks ago I got really bad food poisoning, and I was truly miserable.  I was violently vomiting, and Stephen came over to check up on me and see what was wrong.  I was curled up in the fetal position on the concrete floor with a bucket at my side – I don’t think I looked too hot.  He ran and got my neighbor Sauya, Sister Francis, and the school nurse.  They all came to take care of me by giving me water, mixing up Gatorade, and calling the Peace Corps medical office.  The nurse gave me a malaria test, which was thankfully negative!  Sauya spent the night on my extra bed and she woke up each time to hold my hair back as well as clean out my sick bucket.  The next day Sister Francis, Sister Goretti, and Sauya drove me to the hospital and then arranged a private hire to take me to the Peace Corps Medical Office in Kampala.  I am so thankful that they were here to take care of me because it was comforting to know I was in good hands.  After two IVs and medicine to stop making me throw up – I felt significantly better.  I was then pampered for two days in Kampala (hot showers!), which was glorious.  When I returned back to my site, everyone came to my house to tell me they were praying for me and that they had all been worried.  For the next week no one would let me work because they thought I had been on my deathbed.  It’s a great feeling to know that my community has my back – makes me feel much more at home. 

            This past Saturday we had a potluck at Bethany’s house for Ryan and Elizabeth’s birthdays.  I think I still have a food baby from the amount of food I ate.  It was great to eat an obscene amount of American food and get a little taste of home.  I made hummus and fried chapati to make tortilla chips (delicious!).  There was guacamole, pasta salad, mac and cheese, fruit salad, cake, and brownies.  Max, however, takes the cake for the best contribution…deep-fried Oreos with powdered sugar.  Unfortunately, it started a bad trend, because then we kept coming up with ideas of things we could fry.  So we fried: banana, banana with peanut butter, chocolate, and cheese.  Then we just started eating the fried batter.  I think I’m ok with rice and beans for the next week because I’m sure my arteries are all clogged. 

            I would have liked to upload photos, but unfortunately, my computer broke this week :( (Yes, I was pissed!)  So it will be a while until I upload again.      

Free Babies

             I have had my fair share of requests to be taken to America.  It's either a marriage proposal or someone asking to be my friend so that I can take them to the US.  Yesterday, however, I was completely caught off guard with a request that I received.  I was walking on the road into town, and I greeted (in Lugwere) a group of women who were walking in the opposite direction.  One of them was so excited that I could speak Lugwere and she came up to me and started speaking really fast.  My Lugwere is not that good at all, so I had no idea what she was saying and just kept nodding my head and smiling.  She hands me her baby, says something about America, and then walks away.  I stood there like a deer caught in the headlights with a baby in my hands.  I was thinking, "Wait, did she just ask me to bring her baby to America?  She isn't really walking away is she? Ok, ya, she is." I had to run after her in order to give her daughter back.  I was shaking my head saying, "no, no, no."  I was trying so hard not to laugh, but I couldn't help it - this woman had just given me her child!  Thankfully, she willingly took her back, laughed, and then walked away. 
           Caroline and I were in Mbale over the weekend to do our grocery shopping, and we witnessed our first instance of mob justice.  We were in the taxi waiting to head home when we start to hear a lot of shouting.  We look at each other wondering what is going on and look outside the window.  There is a mob of people and we see one man in the center getting punched and kicked.  He managed to get away and he starts running past our taxi, and a mob of twenty people start chasing him…all laughing.  The man fell and tripped right beside the taxi and the mob took the opportunity to give him a few more punches and kicks.  Caroline and I of course start screaming, and everyone else in the taxi is just laughing.  The man finally got away and started running again, with the mob running after him.  They were all hysterically laughing because I’m sure it’s some sort of adrenaline rush.  Caroline and I just sat there anxious to get home.
            I have had one too many run-ins with pests these past two days.  I found another rat in my latrine this morning – it was in the same curled, “rock-like” position as last time.  Thankfully, I knew better than to pick it up.  I hit it with a broom and it scampered out.  Ew.  Last night, the power went out and I couldn’t see a thing in my house.  As I was searching in the dark for my flashlight, I stepped on a live cockroach in my bare feet.  Needless to say, I screamed like a little girl.  I washed my feet and then went straight to bed in the safety of my mosquito net. 
           That's all I have for now.  I finally got around to uploading photos:

Rafting...I look like I'm holding on for dear life

The waterfall.  Now I look like I'm having a good time

I love this picture because Wade looks like he is having a terrible time

The boat (from L to R): Rob, Sam, Wade, the greatest person ever (me), Paul, Chris, Layla, and Eugene

When our boat flipped

We were almost about to tip

There we go again - and I'm falling on top of Wade

The Nile

This kayak went from the source of the Nile all the way to the end.  So obviously, the guides said I had to get in it.

The neighbor kids brought me a dead bird.  So thoughtful.

The rat in my latrine.  Looks more like a mouse, but they call them rats here.

I decided to show the kids PhotoBooth on my computer - we had some fun

Say Cheez

            I went white water rafting on the Nile this past weekend, and it was much more successful than the last time I went – I didn’t get sick!  I went with the other intern, Wade, who my friend Kiera works with in Kampala.  White water rafting on the Nile is pretty crazy because it is a lot of class 5 rapids, but it is a wide river with few rocks, so you don’t have to worry too much when you are thrown out.  The first rapid we went down was a 15-foot waterfall.  There is a rapid called the “bad place” because you can be under water for 10 seconds before you pop back up.  The water was too low though, so we didn’t go to the “bad place.”  Instead, we went through “50/50”, which gets its name because 50% stay in the boat, while the other half get thrown out.  We all managed to stay in, but the boat ended up on its side and we were pretty close to tipping over.  The last rapid, called the Nile Special, has a 95% flip rate – so our guide gave us some guidelines.  He told us to hold on, but we would most likely get thrown out and not be able to hold onto the boat.  He also said that once you’re thrown out, you’d be under water for a while, but take a deep breath when you get back up because you’re about to get hit by another wave.  Well…advice I probably should have been paying more attention to.  We of course hit the wave and all get thrown out of the boat and the boat tips over…on top of me.  There was that moment of panic where I thought “uh, now what?”  I managed to get out, but of course I get out and the next wave hits me and I swallow a ton of water.  Yummy.  Of course I finally come out of the rapid simultaneously coughing up water and laughing.  Overall, it was a great trip.  I was so sunburned on my thighs and I am still in pain (I put on SPF 70 too!!). 

            I have been working on the resource room for the school that I work at in an effort to get teachers motivated to add to the room.  I made a math bingo for 60 students, which took forever!  I have also made posters to be used as examples for learning aids that teachers can hang in their classrooms.  Classrooms in most of the schools are completely bare.  I am also putting together binders of fun activities teachers can do in class in order to make lesson plans less boring.  My counterpart wants me to set up a workshop in one of the upcoming weeks to teach the teachers how to use the resources that I have started to put together. 

            On Tuesday I visited two schools with my counterpart in order to observe classes and to see how the school was doing with PIASCY (Presidential Initiative on Aids Strategy for Communication to Youth) and SFI (School Family Initiative).   SFI is a relatively new program initiated by the government as a complement to the US-AID funded Unity.  SFI aims to create families within the school in order to provide guidance to students that do not have a strong support network at home.  The students are divided up among the teachers, who serve as their parents.  They have a family name and they meet once a week to discuss issues they might be having at home or school.  So how did the two schools fare in our observations?  Not so good.  Both schools had no records of doing any PIASCY related activities this past term and neither school had started the SFI. 

            I was only able to observe classes at the first school we visited, and the lessons were...interesting.  I asked to see the teachers’ schemes of work and lesson plans (which are required to be made by the teachers) – neither had them.  The first lesson was P6 Science, and it took me about 10 minutes to figure out what the actual topic the teacher was covering.  He was covering Milk Products, which include: ice cream, powdered milk, evaporated milk, skimmed milk, butter, and cheez.  Yes, that’s right, cheez.  I asked to see a student’s notebook in order to look through what they have covered in the past and to see if the teacher is grading their work.  Well, the teacher is grading their work, but I discovered the students had done this same exact lesson a week before.  Everything that was written on the board had already been written verbatim the week before – and the students were still copying it again!  I was shocked.  In America, students would have immediately called a teacher out.  Not here.  I am sure the teacher had done this lesson in order to make me think his students were really smart and increase class participation.  (When I asked him about it after class he got really embarrassed and started to mumble an excuse.  I just let it go and said that next time I wanted to see a new lesson).  Lessons are only supposed to be 40 minutes long, but the teacher went for 60 minutes before the next teacher finally cut him off to begin his own lesson.  Therefore, the P6 Math class I observed was cut short.  He did a relatively good job for the shortened time frame, until he split up the class for group work.  He divided the class into 3 groups of 27 students to solve one problem each.  The problems were along the lines of “What is 14 squared?”  As you can see, it is not that effective to get 27 students to work together in order to solve this problem.  After observing the lessons, I had to talk with the teachers about their performance and give them feedback.  I have a form to fill out which gives a score to the teachers, and I felt pretty awful handing them a score of 20/50.  I worked with both teachers to come up with different teaching methods for their next classes and I stressed the importance of lesson plans and making a scheme of work.  I am returning next week to the school in order to observe their classes again and I have to fill out another progress report.  My counterpart will be checking on the progress of PIASCY and SFI within the schools, and hopefully they have made more progress.  

            At the second school we visited I was looking over the enrollment records and I noticed that a significant amount of students were dropping out.  P1 had an enrollment of 110 boys and 120 girls, while P7 had 21 boys and 7 girls.  I asked the head teacher why so many students, especially girls, drop out as the move up in Primary School.  He told me that a lot of girls get pregnant and have to leave school, and it has become a big problem.  My counterpart then volunteered me to do sex education with the girls, which the head teacher was immediately thankful for.  While I know this would be a great thing to work on, I hate to say that I am not sure I can do it without laughing.  If I do end up doing the sex education, then it won’t be until next term – so I’ll have some time to work on my maturity.  
             I hope you all had a great 4th of July - I wish I could have been back home for a BBQ at the Knaptons.  I miss you Steve, Penny and Sara!!  (Happy Steven?  That's two shout outs now.)