Email 101

Since I no longer have a working computer in Uganda, I donated my Internet modem to my school. Budaka has one Internet cafe, but it is always closed and the connection is slow. Most people that want to use the Internet travel to Mbale, but for some teachers, that is too expensive - especially because you have to pay for the Internet once you get there. Consequently, most of the teachers at my school rarely, if ever, use the Internet. Before last week, only a couple of teachers had email addresses, but they never actually checked their inboxes. (From what I can tell, they never get any email anyway). Needless to say, my school was very grateful that I donated my Internet modem.

My Internet modem is a USB stick (also known as a "dongle," but I can't take that word seriously), so only one person can use the Internet at a time. This isn't really a problem because the modem only works properly on the new computer I got with the Libraries for Life project. The 12 computers in the computer lab are so old that they have floppy disc drives instead of CD drives. Remember those? When I used the modem on one of those computers, the version of Internet Explorer was so old, it only let me open the Basic HTML version of Gmail. Also, half of the websites I tried to go to wouldn't even open.

After I got the Internet set up, teachers crowded around me and asked to have me help them open a Gmail account. At first, I assumed that once I had set up the account, teachers would know what to do. I'm not really sure why I made such an assumption. A few had no clue what do. They also had no one to email, except for each other and me. So for about two hours, I explained all the basics of email. Writing, sending, replying, forwarding and deleting. This was a serious test of my patience. Especially since there were 10 teaches crowded around me and one computer. In addition, the Internet connection is extremely slow at Namengo Girls with only 2 bars on the Edge network - you have to wait awhile for things to load. A lot of the teachers would constantly click on icons willing the computer to go faster. They would also also bicker with one another and yell at the person with mouse to "push it again." Then they would all say, "Ah this is too slow!" I had to explain over and over that clicking the icon "compose mail" 50 times was not going to make it pop up any faster, they would just have to wait.

I gave everyone my email address so that they could practice using email and so that we can stay in touch when I get back to the US. I think that my email class was successful because now I receive a lot of emails from teachers. Here are a few examples:

"What did you eat for lunch?"

"Did you go for roadwork this morning?" (Roadwork is the term they use for running)

"I had kawo with dodo for lunch"

As you can see, I don't think I will have a problem keeping in touch when I get back to the US.

As of last week, I think I have officially seen everything there is to see in Uganda. I was in Mbale, sitting in the Internet cafe, enjoying my iced latte, when a ton of boda bodas (motorcycles) came driving up the street. Everyone was honking and shouting, and people in the Internet cafe started to make their way to the door to see what the commotion was about. I was thinking to myself, "Mmm boda race? Parade? Circumcision ceremony?" More and more people were crowding around the door to watch, and I could see people outside on the streets observing something up the road. I decided to take a look for myself.

I looked outside the door and there was a huge mob of people crowded around the police station across the street.

I had never seen anything like it, but I knew it couldn't be good. I could hear people murmuring about mob justice. I finally asked someone what was going on, and he told me that a thief had stolen a boda boda. Other drivers found the thief and mob justice ensued. The police, however, intervened and rescued the thief from the mob. They took him to the police station, and the enraged boda boda drivers followed. Why? I am not so sure...to demand justice? Guess this is just how things are done. I could see some people holding rocks and bricks, aiming to throw them at the police officer standing outside. All I knew, this wasn't going to end well.

I was texting Maggie at the time, telling her about the situation unfolding. She kept saying, "Aubrey! Leave! Something might happen! Tear gas!" Trust me, I was thinking the same thing. However, if there was going to be tear gas, then I didn't want to be outside caught in the scramble. I figured I should just stay inside and let it pass. Plus, I was downloading an episode of Revenge and I really wanted it to finish...

I went back to my table, and continued chatting with Maggie via text. I told her nothing seemed to be happening, and a lot of people had moved from the door, they also got bored watching. All of a sudden I heard a loud bang and everyone in the cafe turned to look at the street. The mob outside started screaming and running down the road away from the police station. The waitress ran to close and lock the doors, while everyone else inside tried to see what was going on. All we could hear was boom, boom, boom as a police tank unleashed tear gas to disperse the crowd. Well, I guess I saw that one coming. Thankfully, I was inside so I wasn't affected by the tear gas, nor did I have to be caught in a mob of running people. All the mzungu in the cafe just kept looking at each other, shrugging our shoulders as if to say, "Huh, well, this is new. Guess we have a story to tell."

After the police fired about 5 things of tear gas (maybe more), everything seemed to settle down. People cleared away, which was what the police wanted. After about 20 minutes, people went on as if nothing happened - business as usual. And my episode of Revenge was fully downloaded. Phew!

On Saturday, Chelsea and I hung out in Mbale at the same Internet Cafe. Yes, I spend a lot of time there...they have good coffee. Plus, there isn't that much to do in Mbale except for going to the pool or using the Internet. Anyway, the cafe has a flat screen TV, and they play music videos all day. It's great - you get a mixture of African music and popular stuff from back home. A song came on and Chelsea said, "Oh I love this song! What is it?" It was an African song, and I had no idea. She tried to look at the TV screen to see the name, but there was a Ugandan standing in her way. The song ended, so she asked him, "Do you know that song?"

He immediately took her question as an invitation to flirt and came running over to our table. In rapid fire, he asked, "What song? You like music? Sean Paul? You like him? You want to dance?"

Chelsea looked up at me and mumbled, "Oh boy, did I just start something?" I put my head down and tried not to laugh. She turned to the guy and said, "No it's ok, thank you, sorry."

Well, this guy was not about to give up. He continued, "You want music? What do you like? Ah, Sean Paul? P-Square?"

In an attempt to make him leave she replied, "Yes, Sean Paul. Thank you, that's it. Thanks for your help. Bye."

Nope. That didn't work. He continued to ask, "You like dancing? Do you want to dance, do you want to sing?"

Chelsea looked at me and said, "Seriously? Uh, this was my bad." Of course, I was no help and I just sat in my chair laughing, watching everything unfold. I was glad he had no interest in talking to me. She turned back to the guy and said, "Yes, thank you. Have a nice day!"

This guy, however, was relentless. He asked, "Have you seen Titanic? Good movie. You be Rose and I'll be your Jack."

At this point, I was practically falling off of my chair cracking up. Chelsea was looking at me like, "Uh, seriously? How do I get rid of this guy?"

He kept going, "Ah Jack. I met him. Yes! Good man. He came to Sipi Falls. Have you been to Sipi Falls?"

Right, I am sure Leonardo DiCaprio came to Uganda and went to Sipi Falls. This guy seriously would not stop talking and he was going in all directions. He grabbed Chelsea's shoulder and asked, "We go to Sipi?"

Chelsea, who does not like to be touched, whipped around and said, "No! Please don't touch me. Thank you, ssebo. Goodbye. You can leave now."

I think he was startled by her abruptness, but he finally got the hint and walked away. I am sure Chelsea appreciated all of my help, but she seemed to handle herself well.

I only have 28 more days in Uganda!! I am getting really excited to leave, can you tell? Since I don't have a computer, I am stuck watching the same few movies I have on my iPad. Two Weeks Notice, Mean Girls, The Blind Side, Big Daddy, Dear John and all of the Oceans Movies. It is painful to watch the Oceans movies though because Brad Pitt eats such delicious looking food throughout all of them - nachos, ice cream...it's just not fair! Also, he only eats half of his bacon cheeseburger at the end of the first movie, which is the most criminal part of the whole thing. I basically drool when I watch. Ya, I know, I have a problem. Peace Corps gave us all serious issues with food.

Kids staring in my window when Maggie was over. We were just sitting and talking on my couch

Solution Fail

Mexican Night (all processed food): Taco filling from a box, guacamole with an added guacamole mix packet, homemade tortillas (not processed), Fritos "cheese" dip and refried beans in a bag.

We ate 117% DV of salt in this one meal...each. Worth it.

My Retraction

My last blog post has caused quite a stir in the Marsh Family, and my mom said I needed to write a retraction or she was going to think everything I have written these past two years has been a lie. In my last post I wrote, "I will also have things like a washing machine, dishwasher and vacuum. Household chores will be a little easier and less time consuming." My mom emailed my sister, dad and me and said, "#3 on your first list. Excuse me, when have you ever done laundry or used a vacuum at home? I laughed my head off when I saw that one." My dad later called me to say, "Hey Aubs! Just wanted to let you know, we are giving Celly [our housekeeper] her notice, since apparently you are really excited for washing machines and vacuums." Then my grandma emailed, "You don't even know what a vacuum looks like!" As you can see, my family is never going to let me live this one down. Upon texting Caroline about all the crap I was getting from my family, she replied, "You know what's funny, you don't even do your laundry here. Or mop. Eva does."

So, I guess the jig is up, and I have to come clean. I am spoiled and these things are done for me. I wasn't really fooling any of my friends here in Peace Corps because Dylan always says, "Aubrey, I'm convinced you had a butler." In my defense, I did use a washing machine and vacuum in college. Also, I do dishes when I'm at home (my mom will confirm!), so I am still excited for the dishwasher. While Caroline was right, Eva does do my mopping and washing, I still have to hand wash my underwear. It also took me a year to hire a house girl, so I used to do all that stuff. In addition, Eva is now back at school, and my other house girl, Carol, graduated. I figured I can do my own chores for the next seven weeks. Hence, I am not completely worthless.

Speaking of laundry - I have a story. The other day when I was doing laundry, I let my workout clothes soak for a while. I went to my sitting room and read on my couch while I waited. After about five minutes, I heard Stephen calling me from my back door. He was quietly saying, "Aubrey. Aubrey. My neighbor, hello?" I always leave my back door open when I'm doing laundry, so I couldn't figure out why he wasn't just coming inside my house. I got up and went to the other room to find a goat in my house drinking from my basin of laundry. I could not stop laughing, and then Stephen started cracking up. He kept saying, "Aubrey, my goat is helping you wash!"

A while back, there was an article in the New York Times about the "One World Futbol Project," and it immediately caught my interest. The One World Futbol is a soccer ball that is made out of ultra-durable foam and it is indestructible. The ball never needs to be pumped and it never goes flat - there are even YouTube videos of people running them over with cars! The ball was specifically made for third world countries since soccer balls easily pop on the uneven surfaces. I can vouch for this - during my time here, my students have been through 7 soccer balls, 3 basketballs, 1 handball and 1 volleyball. Not only would I have to pump them with air everyday, but I would also have to start patching them with duct tape and superglue after a week. Eventually, there would be no saving the ball, as it would be completely destroyed. It was beyond frustrating, but it's not really my students' fault because the yard isn't really conducive for balls - it's really uneven and there are a ton of rocks. Students usually just end up making a soccer ball out of plastic trash bags and rubber bands since those won't pop.

After reading the article about The One World Futbol Project, I forwarded it to my mom and said, "Uh, this is cool if it is actually indestructible." My mom, the online shopping addict, quickly wrote me back, "I just ordered you two!" (She is the greatest). I finally got the balls, and I am obsessed with them - along with my neighbors, students and other teachers. The ball feels like a real soccer ball, and after a week it's still going strong. Everything in Uganda tends to get destroyed, but this ball still looks brand new. I am going to donate the second ball to Namengo Boys Primary School this week, and I think they are going to be very excited. I am amazed by the ball, and I am really happy I don't have to pump it once a day.

This ball should be used everywhere, even in the US. Not only is it nice not to have to deal with pumping it with air, but it cuts down on the waste of popped soccer balls. I know, I know...I sound like a salesperson. Let me tug at your heart strings a little - for every One World Futbol you buy, one is donated to children and youth in need. I will stop now, but I really think this soccer ball is one of the better things that has happened to me since being in Uganda. Just ask Caroline and Joey, I keep texting them about how cool the soccer ball is.

Check out the website: www.oneworldfutbol.com. (Ok, I'm done now!).

Below are two pictures: 1. A text from Caroline explaining what she should REALLY put on her resume; 2. Another reason I'm excited to leave - I won't feel like I am living in a zoo anymore. It's a picture of Emma staring at me through the window as I'm eating breakfast.

My Top Ten

Now that most of my group is so close to coming home, we cannot stop talking about what we are most excited for back in the U.S. These conversations last for hours and usually result in us getting more anxious to come home. However, while I am excited to get back to the comforts of the western world, there are also things that I am going to miss here in Uganda. I can see some of you shaking your heads right now thinking, "What is she possibly going to miss?" (Ahem, Knapton Family). So I thought that I would share my Top 10 Lists of what I am most excited for and what I will miss.

Top 10 Most Excited List:

1. My Family and Friends: Uh, duh! This one should be obvious. Thankfully, I am doing Peace Corps during the time of smartphones, Facebook and email. I cannot imagine doing Peace Corps when the only communication was snail mail. (My best friend Lauren and I would not have survived if we could not text all day, everyday. Thank you iMessage...).

2. Running Water: As much fun as it is to tell people that I bathe in a whale shaped kiddie pool, I am over the whole bucket bathing thing. I cannot wait to have a shower and toilet. No more walking outside to go pee (or poop!) in a hole.

3. Convenience: I have access to a lot of things in Uganda, whether it be western food, fast Internet or laundry services. The problem is that it's not the easiest to get to, and you have to plan ahead. If I want a pizza or a chocolate bar at 7:00pm, then too bad - that just isn't going to happen. In the US I will also have things like a washing machine, dishwasher and vacuum. Household chores will be a little easier and less time consuming.

4. Private Cars: No more crowded taxis that either go so slow you think you'll never reach your destination or so fast you'll see your life flash before your eyes. Not to mention, there is usually some sort of farm animal on board. I cannot wait to relax in my dad's nice car with leather seats and AC.

5. No Fame: I am so excited to rid myself of my celebrity status. Soon I will be able to run in peace and not have 20 shrieking children running behind me. No one will take pictures of me with their camera phone and strangers won't constantly try to talk to me and say, "I'd like to be your friend." I'm will enjoy a little anonymity. Remember when Britney Spears went crazy, shaved her head and beat a car with an umbrella? I can relate.

6. Pampering: Manicure, pedicure and haircut. All of which need to happen ASAP. I cannot wait to feel like a human being again. I'm tired of constantly being covered in dirt.

7. CVS: I don't know what it is about Drugstores, but I love them. They're great and have everything you could possibly need. I love getting a new brand of shampoo or trying the new flavor of Trident gum. My mom would call me many a time in college and ask me what in the world I was buying from Walgreens, and why was I going every week. CVS, I know you've missed me; don't worry, I'll be home soon!

8. Starbucks: Yeah, I said it. Proceed to judge me.

9. Watching Sports: I miss not being able to watch the Superbowl, March Madness, college football and the Lakers (who apparently suck these days). I am excited to sit in front of the TV with a bag of tortilla chips and a bowl of salsa con queso, while cheering on the team with the better looking players.

10. Food: Bet you wondered when I was going to get to this one. Since there are so many things, I will just type as many things I can think of in 30 seconds: Any home cooked meal of my mom's, fro yo, bagels and cream cheese, In-N-Out Burger, spinach artichoke dip, pizza, spinach salads with feta cheese, variety of cheeses and steak. There is so so so much more, but I won't bore you.

Top 10 Miss List:

1. My Neighbors/My Site: I have built good relationships with my neighbors and I am really going to miss them. I know that even if I came back to visit in a few years, it would not be the same. Teachers are always getting transferred or are moving - things change.

2. Tafiq: Best rice and beans...ever. This restaurant is Caroline's and my go to whenever we are in Mbale. Only 3,000 shillings for a huge plate of rice and beans. Where can you get a good meal in the U.S. for a little over a dollar. No, McDonalds does not count (although, I do like their fries!).

3. Rainy Day Vacations: Not having to work when it rains is probably one of my favorite parts of living in Uganda. Who wouldn't miss that?

4. Odd Outfits: I think some of you would be horrified by the clothes I wear in my village. I look absolutely ridiculous sometimes, but Ugandans tell me that I look "smart." I am excited to wear my nice clothes, again, but after a while, I am going to miss being able to dress like a total hobo and having it be socially acceptable.

5. Social Norms: It's socially acceptable to pick your nose in public here, and that is going to be a tough adjustment in the US.

6. Crazy Dancing: Chelsea and I have said we need a crash course in "how to dance like normal people" before we go home. Especially because we have summer weddings to attend. The moves we bust at the club in Jinja may very well frighten people back in the US. I cannot even explain what we look like, but it's not pretty. As my neighbor Eva told me, "Eh, you whites...you people, you can't dance." I am going to miss being able to dance like a total crazy person without a care in the world and no judgements from others (minus Eva).

7. Blaming Being Lame on Uganda: I like to say that I only go to bed at 9 because I live in Uganda, and there is nothing better to do at night. Truth is, I did this back in the US too. My friend Brandon likes to call me grandma.

8. Teaching: I have no desire to be a teacher, but I am going to miss teaching my math classes. I have enjoyed playing math games with my students and seeing them have a little fun. I am also going to miss some of the absurd questions I get asked in class. (i.e. "Teacher Aubrey, is school in the US like High School Musical?")

9. Being Less Wasteful: Unfortunately, I think I am going to be pretty wasteful in the US because I will be so excited with the plethora of amenities. In Uganda, I use way less electricity because I do not have a refrigerator or a TV. I am also not blow drying and straightening my hair. I only use 180-200 liters of water a week. That is for all my dishes, laundry, cooking, bathing and drinking. I did a google search, the average person uses 123 gallons of water per day. That is 466 liters - more than I use in a whole week! (No, I am not positive on the accuracy, but I am sure it's close enough). Lastly, I live off about $275/month. I probably used to spend that much on Starbucks per month.

10. Bragging Rights: I'll admit it, I am really going to miss saying, "Oh, I'm in the Peace Corps." While I am sure I could start every sentence with, "Well, when I was in the Peace Corps," I think people would start to hate me and want to punch me in the face. So I only have 51 more days of saying, "I'm in the Peace Corps" with an air of superiority. (Mmm...maybe people already want to punch me in the face...)

As you can probably tell from this post, I am anxious to get home!