Holla From Kampala: Ladies Love the Sausage Roll and Other Tales From Tanzania

Brenda is still alive!

We left Jinja on Thursday and headed to the airport really early in the morning. The drive took way less time then we expected, so we had some time to kill at the airport. We sat in the cafeteria in the airport and there was a food warmer labeled “Hot and Fresh” at the counter. There were samosas and other various fried foods, including something that my sister dubbed a “hotdog pie.” A woman sitting next to us was enjoying one of the hotdog pies, so my sister kept telling me to go get one. Finally, my mom said, “Will you stop encouraging her! She will actually go and eat one of those things.” I did, eventually, go up to the counter because I was hungry (and considering a hotdog pie just to gross out my mom). Upon getting to the counter, I realize the hotdog pie is actually called a sausage roll. Here is the conversation I had with the male cashier:

Cashier: Hello. Do you want a sausage roll?

Me: No, thank you. I want a vegetable samosa.

Cashier: Oh. I know the ladies love a sausage roll.

Me (laughing awkwardly): Uh, ya. I’ll just have the veggie samosa.

Cashier: Ok. Are you from the US?

Me: Yes.

Cashier: I knew it. All the beautiful ladies are from the US.

Me: Thanks…

After eating my soggy, gross vegetable samosa, we headed for our gate. We had to go through another security checkpoint and I was really mad because I forgot to pack my Leatherman in my packed luggage. Thankfully, my knives somehow bypassed security. My mom’s lighter, however, was confiscated. You have to love Uganda! We boarded the plane, and immediately started dry heaving. Three grubby American girls were eating sandwiches filled with hot gym socks fashioned as meat. These had to be from the “Hot and Fresh” counter. They smelled so disgusting; I would have preferred the smell of tuna fish sandwiches. My mom looked at us and said, “You made fun of me, but now you totally want to use some of my Viks, don’t you?” My sister and I followed my mom’s lead, and I have to admit, the Viks worked wonders. The plane ride was lemony fresh the rest of the way!

We arrived in Arusha, and spent the night at Onsea House, a cute little bed and breakfast (with amazing food!). The next morning, we left early to go to the Ngorogoro Crater, which is about three hours from Arusha. We met our driver, Ami, who was amazing. He was so sweet and we immediately fell in love with him. On the way to the Crater, we passed through a town called Kituru. There was a chapatti stand that said Obama ’08 and Hilary Clington, but the “g” was whited out. Awesome! While tempting, we did not stop to buy any of the “political” chapatti.

We arrived at the Crater, which was absolutely amazing. For those who don’t know, the Ngorogoro Crater is a collapsed volcano where tons of animals roam around. Before we entered the Crater, we had a picnic lunch next to the zebras and wildebeests, which was pretty cool. We went into the Crater, and Ami was an excellent guide. We saw a cheetah, hyenas, lionesses, elephants, flamingos, and warthogs. The one problem there is that you have to stick to the roads, so the animals are kind of far away. Ami kept saying, “Don’t worry, once you get to the Serengeti, you will be super close.” Nonetheless, the Crater was beautiful and had amazing topography. We still had a great time and didn’t really mind that we weren’t that close to the animals – it was still far better than a zoo.

We spent the night at Sopa Lodge, which is right on the rim of the crater and has amazing views. The travel agent recommended the lodge because of the views, but he did warn us that the lodge was a little dated. He wasn’t kidding. My sister said the furniture in the lodge looked like it was furnished from the set of the Golden Girls and/or Three’s Company. The place actually reminded me of a ski lodge, especially because it was so cold. The views, however, were incredible. After dinner, we went back to the room and the maids had already come in for turn down service. My sister was in the bathroom about to take a shower, and I went to my bed to read. I pulled back the covers and immediately started laughing and called my sister to come check out the beds. They had left a rubber water bottle, filled with hot water, to warm the sheets.

The next morning, we got up early to head to the Serengeti. As we were heading out of the long hotel driveway, Ami said, “You guys wanted to see an elephant up close, right?” At the side of the road, there was a huge elephant! He was standing there and munching away on some grass. It was so cool, I could have reached out to pet him if I had wanted. We sat there for a while taking pictures, and then continued on. About ten minutes later, Ami said, “Hey, want to see a lion?” Up ahead there was a huge male lion walking in the road. He was marking his territory by rubbing his mane in the trees along the road. We drove right up to him, and he walked right along side our car for about five minutes. He was probably only about three feet away. Of course, it was a great start to our day.

We drove for about two hours to get to the Serengeti. Along the way, we saw tons of zebras, wildebeests, and giraffes. When we arrived at the entrance to the Serengeti, Ami passed us off on to our new guide, Rem. We were so sad to say good-bye to Ami. My sister, mom, and I gave him a huge hug and we kept saying, “We don’t want to say bye!” Robyn looked over at Rem and said, “Not that we don’t think you will be good...we just love Ami” Rem laughed and said, “Don’t worry, I don’t get jealous.” (Rem, if you're reading this, we miss you already!) We headed to the Nomad tented camp, which is where we spent the next four nights.

The Nomad Tented Camp was awesome. The camp is set up with 8 luxury tents that are huge and have the most comfortable beds. We arrived just in time for lunch, and we headed to the dining room tent. When we passed the tent, I realized that it was just one long dining table. I looked at my mom and said, “Uh oh, is it a communal dining thing?” She laughed and said, “You’re worried that this is going to be an issue for me, huh?” Thankfully, the other people at the camp were awesome! There were two different families staying at the camp, and my mom played nicely. Phew. Plus, each tent/family had their own driver, so we didn’t have to be with strangers all day.

Rem took us out on a game drive in the afternoon and it was amazing. The Serengeti was a lot different from the crater because you can go off road and get really close to the animals. It is also calving season, so we saw a ton of baby animals! Rem turned out to be an awesome guide, and definitely catered to what we wanted to see. We told him that we wanted to see lions and lion cubs, and he delivered. We saw lion cubs that were three weeks old, and they were adorable. There were four of them, and they were playing with each other like puppies. I could have watched them all day. We also saw more giraffes, elephants, zebras, ostriches, etc. We also saw another pride of lions, with more cubs. These cubs were about three to four months old, so they were a little bit bigger. Of course, they were still cute, and the whole pride was just sleeping in the middle of the road. On the way back to camp, we spotted a leopard, which is apparently rare to see because they are nocturnal. We followed the leopard around for about ten minutes because she was hunting. We saw her almost kill a tik tik (a small antelope), but she was a little too slow. Shucks!

The Nomad Camp was by far the best place that we stayed. When we arrived back at camp, the staff handed out cool towels to clean off. We headed to the dining tent for cocktail hour, and then went over to the campfire. We all sat around the campfire and ate delicious snacks until dinner. The food at this camp was amazing – I seriously don’t know how they cooked such good food in the middle of the Serengeti. We were all in heaven. Also, since we were camping, animals would just roam outside of our tent. We had zebras, wildebeest, giraffes, and elephants just chilling in our camp. Pretty cool! Plus, the hot showers were great considering they were quasi-bucket baths. You would have to order a shower, and someone would come fill the bucket outside your tent, which was connected to the shower inside. Obviously, it was a limited amount of water (Robyn ran out her first time), but it was still wonderful. A man would also stay outside your tent to refill the bucket for the next shower…hilarious. I need a contraption like that for my house in Budaka.

The next three days we went out for game drives in the morning, came back for a siesta, and then headed out again in the evening. We saw a lot of different animals: hippos, cheetah cubs, a cheetah running to catch a gazelle, and a crocodile. One morning we even had a picnic breakfast in the middle of the Serengeti. Rem laid out lawn chairs, a table, and a huge breakfast spread. We had coffee, egg & bacon sandwiches, granola, and fresh fruit. Zebras, wildebeests, and gazelles surrounded us – seriously the best morning.

Unfortunately, on the third day we were at the camp, both of the other families that we liked had left. Frank the Tank and Susan the Snooze Button (names courtesy of Robyn) replaced them. We immediately did not like them and their negative attitudes, and we came very close to a BIA attack. Brenda had the “look”: nostrils flared, eyebrows raised, and lip curled. Thankfully, we avoided any embarrassing altercations! Plus, a couple and a family from London arrived, and they were awesome. They definitely made up for the boring and annoying couple.

On our last full day in the Serengeti, Robyn and I were sitting in our tent reading during our siesta. She told me to look outside our tent because there was an elephant literally right outside. She decided to go next door to our parents’ tent to let them know. She walked outside and waved to the elephant while saying, “Don’t charge” (she learned this from our guide Rem). She turned and continued to walk to my parents’ tent. I was taking pictures of the elephant and I see him kicking up his foot like he is about to charge. Then he starts running after my sister, so I yell, “Oh my god, Robyn! He’s charging!” She looks behind her, screams, and runs into my parent’s tent. I started cracking up laughing, and then look to see that the whole rest of the camp was watching. One of the guides, Ali, then came by with a Land Rover to pick us up to drive us to the dining tent (so we wouldn’t have to walk near the elephant). He looks at my sister and says, “Stay inside your tent when there is an elephant outside!” Of course, my mom and I are still laughing because my sister’s scream was hilarious and the whole camp saw her run for her life. (Ok, I know you are all thinking we are mean…but it was so funny!). Rem later came up to Robyn with hands held up in an expression of “what is wrong with you?” He was laughing and saying, “You don’t wave to an elephant, especially a male! And stay in your tent!” In Robyn’s defense, whenever we saw elephants with Rem, he would wave at them and say, “don’t charge.” However, we were in a huge Land Rover and he was making a joke…

We left the camp today, and we were so sad. A big shout out to the staff – especially Lawrence and Reuben, they were awesome! Our guide, Rem, was amazing, and major props for putting up with the crazy Marsh family. At one point, he even stood up for my dad, which we know never happens when all us girls are picking on him. I seriously did not want to leave, and I considered chaining myself to a tree. I could go on and on about the Nomad camp – best family vacation, ever. Sorry Turks & Caicos, you have officially been beat.

We are now in Zanzibar and we are going to spend the next three days relaxing by the beach. I am so sad the vacation is winding to an end, but I have had an amazing time. Until next time….

Here are some photos! I'm running low on internet time, but I think this should be enough.