I just returned from a weeklong trip to Kampala – a trip that was pretty much devoted to seeing how much Chelsea and I could eat. We had to come to Kampala for a two-day DSR (District Security Representative) training. As DSRs, we are in charge of sending out security updates to our fellow PCVs in our region. (Can you tell that PC loves acronyms?). I wasn’t too thrilled about having to come to Kampala, again, but the training was at the US Embassy. The embassy is really nice and has air conditioning, so that was a plus. We were also given per diem, which Chelsea and I blew all on food. We were supposed to return home on Saturday, but Chelsea and I both had to stay until Monday in order to go to medical. I have been sick for almost two months, but I have been too lazy to get checked out. All my friends, however, were nagging me to go to medical because they said something was seriously wrong with me. Barbara, our PCMO (Peace Corps Medical Officer), was at our DSR training – so I really had no excuse to not talk to her about my symptoms. Nevertheless, I was in denial and kept telling people I was fine and I could wait until we got checked out at mid-service. As a result, Chelsea took it upon herself to talk to Barbara for me and insisted that she make me come in to medical.
Chelsea and I both had to wait until Monday for appointments, which meant a weekend in Kampala. (Fine by me since I got to stay at my embassy sponsor’s, again!) All we did was eat and talk about food. So you can get an idea, here was our Saturday:
- Breakfast: eggs, toast, and bacon
- Snack: Waffles with butter and syrup and lattes
- Lunch: Salami sandwiches with cheese, lettuce, tomato, and cucumber
- Snack: Chocolate bars
- Dinner: Pita with hummus and veggie dip. BBQ chicken and chips.
- Dessert: Ice Cream
We ate ourselves sick every day, but we would continue to talk about “what we would eat next.” I was already sick, so I am sure you can all imagine what this food was doing to my digestive system. I did not care, our days revolved around where we wanted to go to eat. After training on Friday, Dylan, Chelsea, Bethany and I were all starving. We went to a restaurant and Chelsea went to the grocery store to buy big waters. Dylan and I were famished and we decided we couldn’t wait for Chelsea to come back, so we ordered for her. When she came back, I told her, “We ordered you a bacon cheeseburger. Hope you’re okay with that because we are hungry and we want our food now.” Chelsea looked at us like “are you serious?” laughed and said that was fine. I’m pretty sure when our food came, we didn’t even chew. Later that night, we went out for Chinese food and ordered a “round two” and then went to the grocery store to get drumstick ice cream cones. I’m not going to lie; I think my pants are a little tighter after this week in Kampala.
Chelsea, Audrey, Rachel and I all had to go to medical on Monday, so it was a party! I’m going to warn you that this next story is really quite gross, and I can’t believe I’m posting it on the Internet… Rachel and I were both having GI problems, so we had to give stool samples. The cups they gave us were tiny. We sat on the couches in the waiting room discussing our plan of attack - how we could manage pooping in this cup without making a mess? (This is really one of the reasons I refused to go to medical, I have stage fright and I didn’t want to poop in a cup thank you very much!) I made Rachel go first, and she came out and said, “I figured out the perfect way. Put paper towel in your hand, poop in it, and then use the scraper to scrape it off into the cup.” Audrey and I looked at her with raised eyebrows and started laughing. I could not believe Rachel pooped in her hand and she was now telling me to do the same. I headed to the bathroom, still laughing, and Audrey and Rachel both yelled, “Good luck!” Well, all I am going to say is, when I got in the bathroom…Rachel’s plan started to seem a little more reasonable. I will let you all guess what I did… Let’s just say, I think I have forever sealed my fate of being single for the rest of my life now that I have posted this for the world to see. It turns out that I actually was sick and I had amoebic colitis. So I was given a bunch of antibiotics to take for the next week. I’m feeling better, now, so it’s all good!
On Tuesday, I went to Lugogo Mall (a large shopping center) to wait for Peace Corps to pick me up. (Peace Corps will drive you to and from medical; it’s awesome!) I was waiting in the parking lot and this woman walked by in a short, tight, hot pink strapless dress with four-inch heels. I was horrified. This outfit would not be appropriate at any shopping center in America, let alone Uganda. We don’t show our power here!! (For those that have forgotten, a woman’s thighs are her “power.”) This outfit was absurd and I needed a picture to show people. I took out my iPhone and proceeded to try and take a picture. As I’m holding up my phone, I hear someone say, “Look, she is taking a picture!” I turn around and there are two marines behind me cracking up laughing. Busted. I turned back and unfortunately I had lost the photo op. The marines apologized for distracting me and commented on how awesome the outfit was. I just said, “Wow, that’s really embarrassing I just got caught. Guess I’m not very covert.” Thankfully, I saw this lady again when I was at Nakumatt and I got my picture. I was a little slyer this time and I pretended to be talking on the phone while taking the picture.
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| Classy! I blurred out her face because I thought that was the polite thing to do. |
Anyway, school is quickly coming to an end – I feel like it just started! So I am finishing up and getting more and more excited to go to Egypt in a month.
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